So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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