but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.