ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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