I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
