She said her name was "party"
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
