you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize