she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything