btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.