so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?