He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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