we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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