i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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