I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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