so that wasnt chicken after all
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be