The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I need to calm my uterus...