she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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