I look better un-naked...
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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