there's paper in my vomit.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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