Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I love you. Go after that dick
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