Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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