i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
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It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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