the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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