Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize