what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I love having hate sex.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
