I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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