Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I need to align my fucking chakras
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize