I never want to see another naked old woman again.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
