1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize