your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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