Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake