talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
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Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
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I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night