I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
