I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
