Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Let's get the cat blown out
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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