Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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