she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
