hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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