you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
