dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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