I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
Love having children with random chicks
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??