no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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