so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
