i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize