Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize