I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
