What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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