Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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