Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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