gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
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Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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