Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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