It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize