Moan for me like Helen Keller
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize