I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i believe in u and ur pee
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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