Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
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Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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