I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
