so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
My feet surprised me
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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