You can't motorboat a personality
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
