The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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