do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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